A blog dedicated to the birth

Coming back to birth

femme-enceinte-rouge
18 Jan 2016

Coming back to birth

Posted by Maïtie Trélaün in Writing

Today, on Christmas Day 2015, as the moon brightly shines its fullness in the clear sky, I feel something powerful rising in me. I have studied the art of birth for more than 30 years as a mid-wife, and I have turned to the art of Being during 10 years as a coach. Today, I can return to the world of birth, richer with all these other experiences… What does that imply?

As we celebrate nativity in many places around the globe, the moon tells us about birthing. The full moon corresponds to childbirth in the maternity cycle, as well as to ovulation in the menstrual cycle. It invites us to shine, to show ourselves… so I jump in!

The birthing that saw me born as a Woman

I know now, deep down inside me, that one day, I would return to childbirth practice, and that delighted me because I have grown since I have set this part of my life aside.

A couple can bring its child into life in the greatest simplicity, wherever the child birth may occur.

My profession as a mid-wife taught me greatly about patience, listening, vigilance while allowing me to discover the power and correctness of the paths life opens within us. My current practice as a therapeutic coach invites me to affirm and position myself with accuracy, learn to respect myself and bring women and men to respect each other, hence to hear life within them. One has taught me the feminine, while the other also speaks about the masculine. The meeting of the two tells me about harmony.

Power and vulnerability

A woman who gives birth to her child without resistance opens herself to this vulnerability, beyond anything she could imagine herself offering. It is from this trust – a trust which is bigger than herself – that she rises to conceive in a powerful outburst. Anyone who has seen or lived the emergence of this prime outburst, which offers life to the world, knows what I am talking about. You cannot forget the power of the woman spontaneously and freely expelling her child.

Yet, on the day I lay these words down, only a minority of children have a chance of being born from a present, powerful and conscious mother.

The man who supports her partner in bringing their child to life, following the paths spontaneously opened within her, opens a new direction. This presence – whether through the subtlety of the provided support or the protective power of guardianship – has only been held by a minority of innovative men. Anyone who has seen a man fill this role as guardian and landmark for his woman, as well as his child, cherishes the memory like a gem.

Yet, on the day I lay these words down, only a minority of children throughout the world have a chance of being welcomed by a father who is fully present in his power as an autonomous and responsible Man, all the while greeting his vulnerability with simplicity.

Presence and medicalization

My conviction and experience has shown that when a couple giving birth fully occupies the place that is his, the necessary medical presence goes down to a strict minimum: observation and vigilance. These two qualities allow to adjust our gestures, so that the medical intervention does not disrupt the magic of birth.

I have absolute faith in men and woman bringing their child to life with respect and dignity. My experiences as mid-wife and coach taught me that, when parents fill their role and place, and when they take responsibility, medicalization is useless and can limited to a bare minimum. This is how it should work, and not the other way around! Reducing medicalization does not necessarily mean that the couple will to be able to fully take its place.

How often, in the beginning of my practice, couples came to see me because they wanted to have a “natural” childbirth, without medicalization. I would accept, as this was my way of practicing. However, at the moment of labour, if the mother did not reach into herself to open up to her child or if the father did not dare to stand as the rock on which his partner could count, I usually could not respect their plan of a natural birth. Indeed, if they did not hold their part of the contract (giving birth), there would be few chances that I could keep my promises (respect natural labour).

My experience has shown that a couple who fully occupies its place can give birth to a child in the greatest simplicity, wherever childbirth occurs. It is not the environment that will allow this to happen, but the way of doing and being that will influence the environment. I also believe that it is much easier if everyone pulls in the same direction.

It is time for me …

It is time for me to go further and to share what I have learned throughout the years of my life, in order to allow as many Little Men to be born with the respect and dignity they deserve. They will each have the chance of being born to a mother and father who are fully present and responsible for their actions, under the vigilant and discreet eye of a mid-wife. It is what I call “Childbirth with conscience” and I share it with you in different forms, whether online (trainings, shows, webinars, e-book… In French) or live (conferences, workshops…). If you are interested and French-speaking, follow my news !

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